Author: Anna L. Email the author
From: Massachusetts
Age: 17
Type of Arthritis: Juvenile Rheumatoid

A date by definition is an appointment between two or more persons for the mutual enjoyment of some form of social activity. Where the activity is a movie, or a school sporting event, everyone knows that there is a lot more to dating then making an appointment.

The arrangement of a date requires hours of intense psychological preparation for both boys and girls alike. Who asks whom out? Where will we go? What will we do afterwards? Should we go with a group? What if we have nothing in common? And what about a goodnight kiss?

This doesn't even account for the occurrence of a pimple, which puts a horrible wrench in hours of delicate planning. Forget the goodnight kiss, no one wants to kiss someone with a growth on his or her face. At least this seems to be the general mentality. We as individuals have yet to realize that our date rarely notices our shortcomings when it comes to having a clear complexion. It's when you have Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (JRA) that your dating situation goes from bad to worse.

Now this isn't to say that those with JRA don't date. In fact, ask my parents about the nights that they've sat perched, on the living room sofa, trying to look nonchalant when I come home from an evening with a member of the male species. They will tell you that indeed, teens with arthritis do date.

These teens face very different issues though. The simple idea of a date sends my whole universe out of orbit, as I try to mask my illness. Don't get me wrong, like many other young girls, for me the word "date," is synonymous with the phrase, "what do I wear?" Perhaps it is on the way over to the Gap for a new outfit, that my way of thinking starts to differ from other girls.

Of course I'm enthralled by the idea that a guy would like to spend time with me, but there are many concerns that plague me as I prepare for the evening out.

First, there is my medication. Pills are indicative of someone who is sick, and naturally I don't want people to think of me in that way. So instead of whipping out my multitude of pills during the evening I rearrange my medication schedule to suit my social needs. Extreme? No, just one of the many insecurities I face in dealing with my Arthritis.

Well he says he's going to pick me up, but what if he has one of those SUVs that I have so much trouble getting into? His car could also be too low, and I could have trouble getting out. It's very hard to be graceful in situations like these. I need both my knees replaced but instead I focus on my ability to suck in my stomach.

Worse yet, what happens if I do something stupid and dislocate one of my hips. Having my hips replaced does not allow for a lot of extra-curricular activity. An innocent afternoon of roller-skating could turn into an episode of ER. What better to kill "the mood" then being hauled off on a stretcher!

Let's not even discuss the idea of seeing a movie. I will tell you this though; not many things are as bad for an Arthritic back, then sitting in an uncomfortable chair for two hours. I dread the typical movie and dinner date.

What about accessibility? I may look fine, but climbing the bleachers to see at a basketball game, is not something I do easily. How do I say, "No, I can't do that"? Accessibility is a major issue with my arthritis, but not many typical teens are thinking about whether or not their date can get in and out of a building.

Forget the mall.

Walking around for hours on end is just a bad idea.

As one can see, these issues are very real issues for a teen with Arthritis facing the social scene, and I am sure that I have not touched upon all of them. I often wish that my biggest concern was over whether to wear my hair up or down, and not if the place we're going has Handicap Parking, or when to take my medication.

Although, admittedly, in spite of all these issues, my biggest concern is usually what to wear.

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