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Introducing Ms. Meniscus
Dear CreakyJoints Members,
It should be admitted, friends, that I do not have arthritis. Perhaps I suffer the occasional discomfort after standing a bit long in the supermarket queue, yes, but I have not been diagnosed with fibromyalgia or lupus or any such thing. Granted, I am of an age when each passing day advances me closer to the throes of senior citizenry, so perhaps one lazy afternoon we might commiserate over our pills and canes and topical creams and other arthritic accoutrements. But that time is not now, for we are both young enough to appreciate the finer things in life aside from pity parties.
There are things, I am sure of it, that we do share in common. If, for instance, you are anything like me, then you are chronically vexed by life's little imbroglios pertaining to family troubles, unrequited loves, disputes at the workplace, missing cookie recipes, et cetera. And it is no surprise to me that those most troubled by such bugaboos often resort to the misconceived therapeutic offerings of a boorish neighbor or, at worst, a carton of Haagen-Dazs Cappuccino Commotion. And to that, I ask, "Why?" Why, indeed, would one willingly endure the burdens of this troublesome human journey when there is an able and proficient columnist ready to dispense advice at CreakyJoints.org? That is perhaps the one question that I, Ms. Meniscus, am unable to answer with competence and wit.
Humor me, then, and send me your queries. Though arthritis I have not, whetted sagacity I have in ample supply.
Anticipatably yours,
Ms. Meniscus
Story Guide
SUVs, the Workplace, and Ketchup
Endoscopies, Pets, and Playing with the Kids
Travel, Dating, and Dave Matthews Band This week, Ms. Meniscus discusses dating, Dave Matthews, as well as planes, trains, and buses.
In-Laws, Ex-es, and Tongue Piercings
Hand-Shakes, Posture, and Dating -- Again
A Look Back on Two Months of Advice
Critical Friends, Rude Dinner Guests, and a Really Bad Kisser
Opposites, Tightwads, and Boys!
Porn, Funerals, and Puppy Dogs
Concealing Your True Colors
Sloppy Messes, Rude Waiters, and Big Words
Former Lives, Nausea, and Family
Lost Loves, Injections, and Style
Mike vs. Andy, Dating an Older Man, and Bridal Fetes This week, we tackle the issues of being misnamed, dating an older man, and gift giving (or not).
Jesus, Soccer Moms, and Best Friends
Strippers and Family Problems
Marriages, Drag Queens, and Handshakes
Mixed Signals, Body Piercing, and More Marriage
Overbearing Parents, Over-Friendly Friends, and Tips 'What do I tip when the service is bad?,' 'My parents are driving my family crazy!,' and 'I'm taken and my best friend wants me.'
The Wedding Issue! 'Who should be the best man?,' 'Should my boyfriend pay for his tux?,' 'I'm 65-do I get married?'
Base Instincts, Sweet Sorrow, and Class Consciousness 'What's the best way to approach celebrity?,' 'Should I put my relationship on hold for the summer?,' 'How can I get over being money-minded?'
Landlords, Day Care, and Tongue Piercings (for the last time!)
Dead-Beat Friends, Double Dating, and Pill Swallowing 'Should I reunite with an old friend?', 'Is it wrong to date two people at once?', and 'Is it rude to take medication at the dinner table?'
Finger-Pointing Friends, Conjugal Conflict, and Bad Advice 'Do my friends really know if my boyfriend is cheating on me?,' 'My parents don't want me to get married -- what do I do?,' 'People keep giving me bad advice, and I'm tired of it!'
True Love, Jealousy, and the Perils of Retail 'Is my boyfriend really in love with me?,' 'This guy gives me weird looks -- does he like me?,' 'I hate running into former high school classmates!'
Summer Romance, Sobriety, and Chewing 'Do I tell my boyfriend that I cheated on him over summer break?', 'Will people think Iím lame if I donít drink?', 'I can't stand the sound of chewing!'
Bad Roomates, Ex-Boyfriends, and the Arthritic Closet 'I moved in with my best friend, and now I hate her!', 'How can I get over my ex and be friends with him again?', 'When is the proper time to come out of the Arthritic Closet?'
Cross-Generational Romance, Name Calling, and Verbal Oversight 'Does it matter that my boyfriend is twice my age?,' 'What should my co-workers refer to me as in the office?,' 'People make fun of me when I try to use big words!'
Image Awareness, Scamming, and Package Burdens 'Will using a cane change my client's image of me?', 'Is my 3 year old a scam artist?', 'Will my mailman hate me if I ask him to deliever the packages to the door?'
Breakups, Lies, and Scottish Weddings 'My boyfriend broke up with me -- I'm devastated!,' 'I tell people I have arthritis, but I really don't -- is this wrong?,' 'My parents refuse to travel to Scotland for my wedding!'
The Trials and Travails of Courtship 'I can't dance! I'm doomed!,' 'His addiction is ruining our relationship!,' and 'How do I win his affection?'
Hole Punching. Cures. Divergent Paths. 'Should I obey my parents or get my tongue pierced?', 'Santa Claus:set-up for a let down::Arthritis Cure:??', and 'Do I tell my 'traditional' doctor I'm taking 'alternative' medicine?'
Lolita, Crime and Punishment, and A Doll's House
Friendship Finesse. Veritable Prisons. And Shellfish Public Enemy #1. The line between friendship and love becomes obscure, a teenager lives out '16 Candles,' and on the arthritis front, allergies to medicines prove problematic.
Love and Marriage and Knees 'I'm engaged--do I tell my parents?', 'My boyfriend sent me a note stating his dislike for me--what does this mean?', and 'Help! I'm having knee joint replacements!'
Holding On and Letting Go 'My Mother is Overbearing,' 'My Ex-Girlfriend is a Stripper,' and 'Is this Man Interested?'
Contact While in the Sistine Chapel, you look up, and see that their outstretched hands never actually meet.
Little Pink Houses for You and Me Three divergent souls question the nature of partnership in home, workplace, and theory.
Self and Other in the Post Modern Social Lexicon Considering lack of affection vs. unwanted affection in three deviating scenarios.
The Wedding Issue (with an arthritis addendum) Taking a Stand / Ceding Authority
The Lonely Crowd The Illustrious Ms. M responds to cares and concerns regarding employment, proper internet usage, and the ever-scarlet A.
Lies, Sex, and Moving Fabrications, Accusations, and Ruminations.
Old Flames Die Hard (except when one has cold hands) Three queries confront rejection, past love, and symptoms(?) of arthritis.
Questioning Faithfulness, Confronting Pain, and Acknowledging Love Questioning Faithfulness, Confronting Pain, and Acknowledging Love
Many Shades of Pain This week's queries concern how to deal with an abusive relationship, an unfaithful partner, and mysterious back aches.
Martha and Sally Join Hands over Ms. Meniscus This week's featured guests ask about wedding etiquette and parenting skills in a post-Susan Warner wide wide world.
Arthritis Daily Solutions to living with arthritis are not always clear--but perseverance is.
A Streetcar Named Desire Desirous of Freedom, Desirous of a Dog, and Desirous of Safety, the concerns of three readers epitomize the anxiety of influence and the diversity of existence.
Friend or Foe, We Want to Know Three readers ask whether their [friend,boyfriend,drugs] should be revered or relinquished.
Fair Weather Boyfriends, Platonic Husbands, and Critical Couples Interpersonal relationships of all shapes and sizes come into question.
Lose Boyfriend? Lose Fiancee? Lose Weight? Every loss should be treated differently, but all with a common denominator: self-respect.
A Family Tree of Prevarication, Smoke Inhalation, and Socialization Cessation. 'My parents are too overbearing,' 'My mother smokes,' and 'My son only socializes on the internet!'
A Defeated Toaster, an Arthritis Backlash, and Drawing a Blank with Love 'My roommate is a pig,' 'My boyfriend is MIA,' and 'Those three little words are all I know to say'
Pregnant in Podunksville, My Ulnar is Tingling, and Cheesy Son-In-Laws Ms. Meniscus tackles readers' beefs with their boyfriend, their ulnar nerve, and with their son-in-law's treatment of their daughter's family.
Spouses, Boyfriends, and Neither (yet?) Ms. Meniscus attempts to diffuse an explosive situation with a snobby daughter-in-law, knot a frayed relationship, and decipher signals.
Cleaning House, Ex-love, and Down Payments For three correspondents, a change of scenery might be in order.
Relationship Roundup Ms. Meniscus answers three questions at the beginning of, in the middle of, and at the end of a relationship.
Porn, "Players" and Older men Ms. Meniscus tackles a few age-old questions, including "How can I get back at my ex?"
Coping with boyfriends -- the adulterous, the older and the ex Ms. Meniscus dishes advice on -- what else? -- dysfunctional relationships!
Seeing is Believing "I don't see my man anymore," "I see my man everyday and he's indifferent," and "My man sees things I don't appreciate"
Deck the Halls with Insecurity and Depression 'Will you still love me tomorrow?', 'Will you ever love me today?', and 'Will the holidays make me hollow?'
Sitting and Skiing Readers ask Ms. Meniscus about the best way to remain comfortable while seated for hours, and coming clean about not skiing.
A Jilted Roommate, A Jilted Boyfriend, and a Jilted Knee "My roommate discusses my dvd player installation on the phone," "I am tired of my boyfriend," and "I'm uninsured but need medical advice"
Carpe Diem "Enough with serfs!", "Enough with verbal abuse!", and "Enough with the No Touching Rule!"
Joe vs. The Volcano Friends vs. Boyfriend; Wife vs. Ex-Wife; Girlfriend vs. Ex-Girlfriend
I am Possessive of... "My Dinner Time!" "My Wedding Date!" and "My Ring!"
Date Woebegone Days Three readers question the nature of their relationships (or lack thereof)
A Question of Priorities Why does my boyfriend prefer [breakfast elsewhere/solitary existence/football] over me?
"My relatives are ingrates!", "My roommate cannot think on her own!" and "My boyfriend needs a housekeeper!" A niece, a nephew, a roommate, a boyfriend--all prove irrascible.
Aches and Pains, Physical and Emotional Three readers question the origins of their afflictions.
Social Graces Having sense and sensibility does not have to be Victorian.
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Three readers write in to ask whether their relationships--cut short, potentially mismatched, and potentially injurious--deserve to be continued.
A Little Less Insecurity, A Little More Action Please Three readers write in concerning loyalty of partners and parents.
one fish two fish blue fish new fish There are many fish in the sea. If the fish you're with hasn't breathed new life into your gills, try swimming around a bit more.
Nostalgia for a bygone relationship, Hope for a new relationship, and Annoyance at the publications pertaining to a relationship Are all relationships full of angst? Find out here.
Too Tall, Too Dishonest, Too Fond of His Phone If you're seeking relationship reassurance, look no further.
Monster Jealousy, Monster Dependency, and Monster Trucks Various monsters rear their ugly heads.
Fishing for New Friends, Resentment, and, well, Fish Find out how to deal with problematic roommates, tongue-piercings, and pet shortages.
Sisterly Love, Trust Issues, and an Age Gap 'What does it mean to be loved like a sister?', 'Can I trust my boyfriend's roomate's girlfriends?,' and an issue of feeling closer to an older man.
It's Time for...Boyfriends, Bees, and Ex-Friends Three Creaky Joints devotees wonder how, why, and whether men, bees, and former friends should affect their lives.
Boyfriends and Boyfriends and Boyfriends, Oh My! It would appear that boys (and aunts?) make trouble.
Politics, Polemics, and Pizzas Whether at work, in the kitchen, or at a restaurant, interpersonal skills can be a challenge.
Eponymous Injuries, In-Laws, and Regrets "I hurt my meniscus!", "My in-laws stink!", and "I've condemned an innocent man!"
Having a Heart-to-Heart, AIMing to Pester, and Seventeen Boyfriends Ms. Meniscus looks into parents who forbid a reader from associating with an 18-year old, examines a roommate who preaches via away message, and investigates issues with having a boyfriend that's turning 17.
Fence, Aisle, Fence Two readers ask about lost loves, and one inquires about a love to lose.
From a Distance Three individuals contemplate and question the factors that led to the demise of their respective relationships: a child, a dog, and a disappearing act.
In Love and War Three readers are involved in potential revolutions: a child is on the way, a friend's boyfriend is disloyal, and a woman is attractive.
"Is honesty always the answer?"; "I may never get a cell phone!"; and "Friend or Boyfriend?" This week's column confronts issues of conscience, electronic communication, and emotional communication.
Cleaning, Confusing, and Mothering Woes Three readers write in regarding roommate abuses, professor advances, and bossy friends.
Love's Liabilities A nose is punched, Trust is lost, and Love is Long Distance.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find Out What It Means to Me Are you a doormat? Please don't be.
No Love for Me Three readers lament the lack of friendship, sex, and romance in their lives.
The Internet, the Pain, and the Trust Are internet relationships icky? Do exes cause pain in perpetuity? Should I trust someone who left me high and dry before?
Doubt, Lack, Doubt Two readers are dubious of partners' fidelity, while one desires the presence of fidelity at all.
Smothered? Frustrated? Impatient? Three readers try to control their passions.
Compromised, Cramped, and Cantankerous Three readers question themselves and others in matters of sex, exercise, and weight.
Weight, Cheat, and Miss Three readers try to control their bodies and minds.
When Youth and/or Youth in Retrospect Can Be Trouble Readers write in about growing pains.
I've Been with My Partner 12 years and... Some people in long term relationships articulate their disgruntlement.
Kissing, Yelling, Flirting Three readers have quandaries concerning intimacy, abuse, and marriage.
Questioning Faith Three readers ask about boyfriends gone awry.
Helpless, Unhappy, and Alone Child Abuse, Chummy Ex-Families, and User Boyfriends interrupt days of independence sometimes.
Health Insurance, Parents, and Husbands When each fails us, where do we turn?
Dating, Dating, Marrying? Appropriate etiquette can be elusive.
The Wedding Issue Navigating wedding etiquette can be difficult.
Murky Waters When Decisions are not clear-cut
Compassion, Paranoia, & Gerbils "What to say to a new amputee," "Is my ex-boyfriend disgruntled?" "I need a gerbil immediately"
Immutability, Weight, and a Dog Dissatisfaction in various aspects of life can be frustrating.
Sweatshirts, Exes, and Self-Destruction How to Maintain Sanity when Friends and Partners Change
Possession, Divine Intervention, and Abandonment Confronting Life's Curve Balls
On the Internet, In the Past, and in Person How to Interact
The Holiday Special Christmas Quandaries & All that Jazz
The Ranch, The Bygone Boyfriend, and The Unholy Kiss Relationships, as usual
Mistreatment, Freedom from Addiction, and Mistreatment Declaring Independence in the New Year
Social (Mis)Behaviors How to Act and How Not to Act
Relationships Rear Their Ugly Heads Needed: Self-Esteem
Happy Valentine's Day! Three readers ask what they can do to save unhappy relationships.
Husband, Body, and Boyfriend Issues In the aftermath of Valentine's Day, Cupid is not always present.
Dogs, Roommates, and Tongues Before you get a pet, a roommate, or a barbell be sure you think about what's involved.
Movie Make-outs, Social Solitude, and Letting Go Can three readers watch movies in peace? Strike up a conversation? Rekindle an old flame?
Stopping for Directions Three women talk about the men in their lives who just don't seem to be quite "into it."
Long Distance Loves(?) Two women wonder if they've been betrayed, the third wonders about embarking on an Internet hookup.
CONFUSED, Confused, confused Three confused readers write in about looking 'right,' trusting a friend, and catching someone's eye.
Closing Doors, Opening Doors, and Finding Support Members write in about an on-again, off-again ex, making friends, and being pregnant and alone.
Rolling Uphill, Cell Phone Advertising, Answer These Questions, and Sleeping Arrangements Ms. Meniscus answers questions about wheelchair dating, drunken indescretions, and living with relatives.
24+15 = Trouble, Cross Faxing, Ex-Oh! Ms. Meniscus answers questions about really being in love, getting cross over a failed fax, and breaking away from an ex.
Marriage and Commitment Ms. Meniscus answers questions on invites, cold feet, and going all or nothing.
You say you're a doormat? You want to get married? You're 15? Are doormat girlfriends born or created? Do they understand their role in life? Do they like being underfoot? Ms. Mensicus wonders.Family Travels and Travails
Family Travels and Travails Parents, daughters and sons, sisters, and boyfriends in tow.
Mirrors and Smoke Readers reflect on long term commitment and lighting up.
Moving In with the Kids When parents move in with their children, there's bound to be friction.
Rock n roll, roll over Rover, and roll over with her. Ms. Meniscus says get the dog, hear the song, and wait for the love.
One-Way Love -- save it for art, music and motorcycles It's hard, send him a card, and one for the Bard.
Relationships -- The beginning, the middle, and the end Kids will do what they've been taught, a couple will have to work out their disagreements, and closure comes to another relationship.
A Pro, a Schmo, and a Foe Love on a skateboard hits gravel, a carpool gets in deep water, and abuse takes two.
Level Up! Ms. Meniscus explains the needs of working, loving relationships.
Brake or Break? Ms. Meniscus says break up, put on the brakes, break his bad habit and break out of that relationship.
A present, a hand shake and just friends Ms. Meniscus says shake a hand, give a gift and find a heterosexual man.
A Kiss, a Diss, and a Hiss Ms. Meniscus gives kissing advice to the never-been and the can't-get-one.
Telling, yelling, and quelling Ms. Meniscus discussing yelling, telling and not.
Ghosts of the Past Ms. Mensicus discusses talking too much, talking but not communicating, and not talking at all.
A shrink, a blink and just one little kink Ms. Meniscus calls out the writer not her daughter's husband, worries about lonely cats, and gets angry about unwanted sex, calling it rape.
Older, smolder, and colder Ms. Mensicus discusses how old is old in a relationship, how old flames never die they just smolder, and how cold does it have to get before you leave him?
Take you home, take you out, take you for granted Ms. Meniscus discusses taking you home, taking you out and taking you for granted.
The past that won't last...or will it? When past relationships tangle with current ones, it's time to stop and sort things out.
When Worlds Collide This week Ms. Meniscus talks about jobs and boyfriends and why the two don't always mix well.
Bob got it right Niece and Sad can take a lesson from him.
See a shrink, have a drink?, raise a stink Louise, "What Do I Do", and Andrea have the same problem, but Ms. Meniscus has three different answers.
Surrounded by Immaturity Ms. Meniscus says grow-up before you grow old to an immature father, an immature brother, and an immature lover.
Love me, love me not He loves me, I love him not. I love her, she loves me not. I love him but my married girlfriend got him.
Toys Ms. Mensicus is talking about toys for boys, being toyed with, and toys for tots.
She's shy, he's living a lie, and strippers, why? Ms. Meniscus says it may be time to tell the truth if you can get up the nerve to say something.
Old, Bold, and Cold Ms. Meniscus thinks one reader is too old, one too bold, and one too cold.
The Search for Intelligent Life Ms. Meniscus tries to be as nice as she can when dealing with dumb, dumber, and dumfounded.
Longing, Clinging and Letting Go Ms. Meniscus gets it on with us: online, on notice, on the spot.
Climbing Out of a Sunken Situation Ms. Meniscus says to seek out the positive path and move forward.
Wanting Something You Don't Have Ms. Meniscus tackles puppies, flirting, and cousins -- things you probably shouldn't pursue.
The Strange Actions of Men Ms. Meniscus explains what one should and should not do when trying to understand males.
The Parental Roadblock Our parents' actions and beliefs appear to hinder us sometimes. Ms. Meniscus reminds us though that, more often than not, parents do what they do with our best interest at heart. The key? Talk to them about it.
All You Want To Do Is Yell An annoying roommate. Prying family. An untrusting boyfriend. All three drive us to yelling and screaming fits. Ms. Meniscus, however, sees a different way.
Be Quiet and Listen Sometimes we're so annoyed by those close to us -- family, roommates, friends, the usual suspects -- that we fail to hear what they're really saying. Enter Ms. Meniscus, to the rescue.
To Move, Or Not To Move Budding romance and a dream job. Family and the Air Force. Fear and freedom. Conflicting forces demand difficult action...
Sharing an embarrassing secret Whether friends, family, or employers, sometimes we're not sure with whom we can have full disclosure.
Go out there and grab some life Life is unfair, yes. And it can be sad and scary. But it's also too short to do nothing.
Navigating cultural shifts Times change and, with them, attitudes and fears. Persnickety parents, lying husbands, and worried children -- ol' Meniscus tackles them all.
Growing apart over time Despite our best efforts at maintaining happy relationships, sometimes they simply deteriorate over the years. Ms. Meniscus tackles a fighting fiance, an untruthful wife, and a clingy roommate.
Talk to him Men can be oblivious -- to your existence, to their own kissing techniques, and to the manipulations of crazed ex-girlfriends. Meniscus' solution? Communication.
Have a question for Ms. Meniscus? Submit it below. She looks forward to hearing from you!
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