Endoscopies, Pets, and Playing with the Kids

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I have RA, and my family is usually very supportive - except when they're not. You see, the other day, my two kids whined when I wouldn't play catch with them. I would love to be a WWF cowgirl who can bounce around the yard with them, but it just isn't possible. How do I keep from feeling that I'm neglecting them?

-Struck-Out Mom

Dear Struck,

Ms. Meniscus may have emerged from the gene pool with grace and tact, but an inherent sense of hand-eye coordination was left floating off somewhere near the deep end. And so, I, too, am unable to participate in the all-American pastime of baseball - not to mention Frisbee, welding, and stir-frying. There are other activities, however, that you and your children can enjoy together. I am quite a fan of Shrinky Dinks, but if the kiddos are not partial to crafts, why not introduce them to mini-golf, to swimming, or to the homemade ice cream machine? Be creative, love. Your children will be appreciative.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I really want a dog, but my parents won't get it for me. I know my arthritis would feel better if I had a dog to play with. Can you tell them to get me a dog? My 12th birthday is coming up. I don't care what kind it is.

-Lassy-less

Dear Lassy-Less,

Persuading the parentals is often a problem, and begging is sometimes a solution. However, I suspect you have already traveled this road, as your specifications have been desperately minimized to "any dog, any gender, any age." So consider this: hold off on getting a dog for now. Instead, start small by requesting a fuzzy little gerbil or perhaps a goldfish. Only then might you consider procuring a Border Terrier. If your parents still deny your request, just remember that when you are older and buy a split-level ranch of your own, you can keep as many dogs, kittens, and peacocks as the Board of Environmental Health allows.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I'm a teenage girl, and I'm getting an endoscopy in a month. The doctors think I have ulcers. Should I tell my friends about it? Will they think it's cool, or will they gross out? I usually don't talk about my arthritis much to them, but they know I've got this problem. Should I bore them with stories of cameras in my stomach?

-Butterflies

Dear Butter,

Trust me on this, dear. An anecdote on the medical adventure they call an endoscopy is infinitely more interesting than some kid's story of his family vacation to Boca Raton. If spending 15 minutes in the spotlight appeals to you, then ask your doctor for some snaps of your insides and show them to your classmates. They will be enthralled by your heroic courage and manipulatable gag reflex. Of course, you might not want to play up your condition, which is perfectly acceptable, as well. Maybe you could share your experience with a few understanding friends. If not, then it will be our little secret. Good luck!

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