Hand-Shakes, Posture, and Dating -- Again

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I wrote to you earlier about my problems with my ex-boyfriend, and now, everything is worse again. I never did ask him back out because he just asked some other girl to the Homecoming Dance. He wrote me a note telling me that he still wants to be friends, but he won't even say "hi" to me when we pass each other in the halls. I don't want to lose him as a friend, too. So do you have any advice?

-Still Clueless

Dear Clueless,

Ms. Meniscus suspects you may be grasping onto something that doesn't exist. Perhaps you two shared a relationship in the past. Perhaps it was love at first site, and you vowed to marry and purchase a home in Marlboro, New Jersey, and name your children Geraldine and Ricky. Perhaps.

But times have changed, no? Though you may not have lost him as a friend, what you are truly hoping to find in him -- a boyfriend -- is gone. Mourn briefly, for he has already moved on, and so shall you. Go to that Homecoming Dance with your gaggle of girls and dance like nobody's watching. And, as always, let Ms. Meniscus in on how things turn out.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I meet and greet the public all the time. What can I do with their outstretched hands? No way do I want to offer my sore hands for a hand shake. Friends tease me and say that I ought to offer a foot or an elbow. Have you any ideas for me?

-Shake and Ache

Dear Shake and Ache,

I'm afraid that Western business conventions are so deep-rooted that co-opting the Asian tradition of bowing would be a near impossibility. Same goes for the uptown Manhattanite air kiss and the Australian high-five. Hmm. This arouses an interesting problem.

Would a soft double-handed grasp of the recipient's hand do? It is a warm gesture, especially when complimented by a smile and a nod. This could actually be to your advantage, as you will stand out in people's memories as The Woman with the Soft Double-Handed Grasp. Best of luck to you.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I just started my first year of high school. Do you have any suggestions for those uncomfy school desks and chairs? I hurt the most when I am sitting in them.

-Pain in the Class

Dear Pain in the Class,

The mass-produced desks and chairs of our nation's classrooms were certainly not manufactured with ergonomics in mind (or aesthetics, really). And so, your first step would be to learn correct posture. Sit up straight! Don't slouch! And wash behind your ears -- you're an absolute mess.

Still aching in math class? Then speak to your principal about accommodating your needs. There is no reason why

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