Overbearing Parents, Over-Friendly Friends, and Tips

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

When dining in a restaurant, am I correct to assume that a 17 percent tip warrants good service? And is it appropriate to leave less tip as the level of service diminishes? Once in a blue moon, I encounter horrible service, and I am somewhat tempted to leave no tip at all. Please advise on how to act in different situations.

-Tip Me Off

Dear Tip,

Just as a wicked wait staff can make for a dreadful dining experience, so can a large tip turn that wait staff right around into shipshape. Granted, the tip won't be helping you; it will merely guarantee the next table a happier, hospitable host. Waiting tables is a rough job that often goes without reward, so if your waitress serves up a free side of malevolence with your pork chop, take the high road and tip her well. She will undoubtedly appreciate it.

As for service that is actually good, a 20 percent tip is generous. Average service warrants 15 percent. Dip below that, and you're a veritable tightwad.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My family and I have lived in our nice, pleasant, suburban home for almost 5 years. We all like it here, but there is something that tempts us to drop everything and leave: my parents. Incidentally, they live down the street, and they are always dropping by, spewing advice and criticism along the way. Their nagging is so obnoxious that I've often considered moving. What should I do to get my parents off my back?

-House Arrest

Dear Arrest,

Ms. Meniscus thinks it is time for you to find another job - particularly one in another time zone. So long as you stay in that town, your parents will continue to be the defiance to your family's sanity. Bon voyage!

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I've been dating this guy for months, and I totally adore him. I might even say I'm in love with him! However, I've been friends with this other guy for much, much longer. For years, there have never been any sparks of romance between us, but now, he's starting to come on to me. I've told him how happy I am with my current boyfriend, but he is still making moves. Why is he just starting to do this now? What should I do?

-Double Trouble

Dear D.T.,

How lucky you are to be receiving the adoration of two wonderful men! A shame, though, that one is inappropriate and, ultimately, unwanted. Your friend is attempting to inflame your loins for one of two reasons: either he is the kind of gentleman that wants what he cannot have, or he has been hiding his true colors from you for years. As his friend, you must tell him that you are happily taken and that his smooth moves are all for naught. Tell him firmly, for if he does not take the hint, then your friendship with him will have to be pruned accordingly.

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