Dead-Beat Friends, Double Dating, and Pill Swallowing

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I was in a pretty bad car accident a few weeks ago. Word spread about my condition, and I received phone calls and greeting cards and flowers from almost everyone I know - except for my friend Mark. For some reason, Mark stopped speaking to me a few months ago, and even during my 8-week stay at the hospital following my accident, he made no effort to contact me. Just the other day, however, he sent me an email, asking me "what's up." He didn't mention my accident (which I am positive he knows about), and he certainly didn't explain why he disappeared these past few months. We were never that close to begin with, but I feel like being cold to him. What should I do?

-Accident-ally Abashed

Dear Accident,

As I advise all of my internet-savvy comrades, do not write anything in an electronic missive that you would not otherwise say to a person's face. Expressing your disgust for Mark via email, therefore, is not a prudent idea and should not be employed, as very little prevents him from forwarding a particularly caustic reply to all of his friends and their dentists.

Instead, Ms. Meniscus urges you to think long and hard about your relationship with Mark. Is it worth salvaging? Can you forgive his extended absence, even in the wake of your ill-fated dalliance with a Beamer? I suspect you think not, in which case, delete his email and move on.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I don't know how I got into this mess, but I am now dating two people at the same time. Let me explain: I go to college 300 miles from home. While at school, I dated this guy for one month. When summer break rolled around, we agreed to keep things cool for a while since we wouldn't be seeing each other until September. Once I arrived back home, I fell for the boy I dated last summer, and now we are seeing each other again. I haven't told my boyfriend from school because he still says he misses me and I know it would just kill him. Even though we agreed to "keep things cool," I still feel as if I'm cheating on him. Am I?

-Double Dater

Dear D.D.,

Ms. Meniscus has not been in the dating circuit for a long while, but defining your relationship with Boyfriend No. 1 as "cool" seems as bold as a saltine cracker. Either you two are together or you are not. Establishing a tepid middle ground will spawn only misunderstanding and jealousy in the end. Because you dated him for only a month, you are really under no obligation to disclose your summer flings to him. But if he finds out about Boy No. 2 (as he probably will), don't expect to jump back into his arms come September.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

Sure, people with arthritis have to take a lot of pills. But I find it rather rude and disgusting when someone lays out his medication on the dining room table, only to plop them in his mouth and gulp them down with a glass of water. Would it be rude of me to tell that person to perform the ritual in the bathroom?

-Quite the Pill

Dear Pill,

Correcting someone's manners at the dinner table, unless that person is your child, is almost always rude. The medicine taker would undoubtedly recoil at your unsolicited advice and would most likely never return for your annual Caribbean-themed BBQ again. If pill-swallowing is truly that revolting to you, look the other way and ask Uncle Charlie to pass the salad.

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