Bad Roomates, Ex-Boyfriends, and the Arthritic Closet

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My boyfriend and I recently moved in with one of our female friends to conserve money. I have been friends with her since grade school, and I have never had a problem getting along with her until now. She never cleans, she blares her music at 7 am, and she acts as though she could never be wrong. My boyfriend and I have both asked her very nicely to clean more, but she refuses. It's not like my boyfriend and I have the money to go anywhere else, and I thinks he's using that to her advantage. What should we do?

-Held Hostage

Dear Hostage,

What is more important to you: conserving money, or conserving the friendship you once had with your roommate? Either choice is a valid one, but it is imperative that you establish your priorities. Should you decide to stick around in the Hostel of Hostility, then prepare to regard your friend as something to be tolerated until your financial situation occurs. Otherwise, I would move out, because very little will make your friend change her ways.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

When do I tell suitors that I have arthritis? I am lucky enough that my ankylosing spondylitis leaves me quite "normal looking," so that most people don't have a clue until it comes to certain, er, physical activities. Do I tell the person right away, or wait until the third date?

-Closeted Arthritic

Dear CA,

When it comes to certain physical activities, as you phrased it, I've heard that most good girls wait until the third date. Perhaps you can apply the same Rule of Three to your situation. Enjoy idle chatter on your first two dates to the movies or the bowling alley, and then conversationally mention your illness as things are starting to progress. Don't be ashamed to come out of the arthritis closet - unless, that is, your creaky joints are unable to turn the door knob. Good luck!

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My boyfriend recently broke up with me because he "wanted to get his life together," but he still pops by my house even though I tell him that is no longer appropriate. He is my best friend, and I confide everything in him, but we can't get past this "soul connection" to the point of being just friends again. I want him back, title and all, but if he doesn't want that, then I don't want anything at all. What do I do?

-Torn

Dear Torn,

You need to give yourself and your ex-boyfriend some time. It's easy to start dating your friend, but it's nearly impossible to revert back to your platonic ways. My advice is to take a break from each other. Keep phone calls to a minimum, and arrange to get coffee together maybe once a week. After your little hiatus, maybe he'll be able to make up his mind.

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