Lolita, Crime and Punishment, and A Doll's House

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I AM AN 18 YEAR OLD GIRL. I WORK IN AN OFFICE FULL TIME AND GO TO COLLEGE. IN MY OFFICE I AM THE YOUNGEST BY FAR. THERE IS A NEW GUY THAT JUST STARTED RECENTLY. WE ARE DIFFERENT BUT VERY ALIKE. WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT DATING AND I WANT TO. HE HAS GREAT QUALITIES AND IS HIGHLY MANNERED. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT HE IS 30 YRS OLD. I HAVE NEVER DATED SOMEONE THAT OLD BUT I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH IT. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS MY FAMILY IS GOING TO REALLY WEIRD ABOUT IT AT FIRST. SO I GUESS MY QUESTION IS WHAT DO I TELL MY FAMILY? AND SHOULD I LET THEM MATTER BECAUSE I REALLY THINK WE COULD BE GREAT FOR EACH OTHER.

-Nabokov

Dear Nabokov,

Ms. Meniscus must first note that your age-old quandary (ha! note the double entendre in age-old) is not rare, as she received three questions in the past month regarding such an issue. She will respond to yours as a representative. There are some age gaps that cannot and should not be bridged in terms of romantic relationships. Examples might be 15 and 45 (unless you're the narrator of _Lolita_), 10 and 24, and so on. 18 and 30 approaches the unbridgable, but it is not impossible. Consider, however, the differences in your life experiences, as well as possible expectations or goals you yourself have for the near future. Yours at 18 are probably somewhat different from his at 30, and that might affect a potential romantic rendezvous. Ms. Meniscus advises you to be forthcoming with your parents; afterall, you're merely seeing him at the office and perhaps sharing some coffee with him, not running off to Vegas (she presumes).

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My son-in-law yells, abuses, and frequently criticizes my daughter for being lazy when she is the one who is mostly supporting the household and taking care of family matters.I've encouraged her to stay in the marriage for the sake of the children. How can I support her in such a difficult situation?

-Accomplice

Dear Accomplice,

This is a serious quandary indeed. Ms. Meniscus will focus on the contradictory nature of your last two statements: you write that you've "encouraged her to stay in the marriage for the sake of the children," yet ask how you can "support her in such a difficult situation." Encouraging your daughter to stay in an emotionally destructive and abusive relationship is the farthest thing from supporting her in such a complex predicament. If your son-in-law is indeed verbally abusive, it's that part of the marriage equation that has to change; your daughter should not bear the brunt of maintaining marital bliss regardless, and especially not given the fact that it's he who is on the offensive and abusive end. Furthermore, remaining in an abusive marriage "for the sake of the children" usually proves unwise. Children are not blind, oblivious, or stupid; consider the fact that witnessing abuse is not exactly a cheery gift. Ultimately, it is your daughter who will have to decide what is best and most healthy for her. The best thing you can do is to allow her to navigate her own difficult path through this quandary, and support her in whatever she decides.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I am a really big fan! Anyways, I just broke up with my boyfriend and I REALLY, REALLY, want to get back at him. He cheated on me like 5 times and when I found out I was heart broken. I soooo hate him. Can you help me get back at him? Can you suggest some things!?!

-Angry

Dear Angry,

First of all, Ms. Meniscus is glad that you are a fan. It's always nice to have admirers, though Ms. Meniscus doubts that she will ever accrue as many fans as say, "Color Me Badd." But to address your question. Ms. Meniscus understands completely that you want to exact revenge on your rapscallion ex, who has clearly proven himself to be drastically divergent from the ideal partner. However, Ms. Meniscus strongly suggests that the best vengeance is to pick up the scattered pieces of your hurt and angry love, pack them up, and walk away. Yes, there's the old magic of the "leave a fish in his locker or car" routine, but that gives him the satisfaction of knowing how much he damaged your ego. Instead, attempt to move on and pay him no attention. He is not worth the dust on the bottom of your shoe.

Have a question for Ms. Meniscus? Submit it below. She looks forward to hearing from you!