Little Pink Houses for You and Me

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My daughter's mother seems crazy sometimes. I work from 6 am unti 7 or 8 pm most days and from 6 till 4 when I am lucky. She says that she is going to move back to Georgia with my daughter because I am never home. I am on the verge of being promoted wich will lead to me being home more but she says she is leaving anyway. What do I do, take her to court? Lose my daughter ? Get a new job in GA?????? Help please!

-Distressed "Dad"

Dear Distressed "Dad",

Long standing is the paradoxical Catch-22 of work and family matters in the United States. More often than not, one must toil long and hard in order to reap ultimate benefits of more time at home with the family, more time out playing golf, more leisure time in general. But as you yourself are quite aware, the interminable sweat and labor in the interim can be extremely taxing--especially in the place we call home. Essentially, you work more to be home more but are perhaps never home initially. You clearly work hard, but it seems that your "daughter's mother" desires your help at home more than your constant presence in the workplace. What is interesting to Ms. Meniscus is how you've opted to characterize your significant other/lover/life partner: as "[your] daughter's mother." This designation is rather curious, as it implies that the "mother," whether your wife or not, is not so significant to you; she remains anonymous, her identity dependent on the daughter. Moreover, you do not seem interested in saving this ambiguous partnership, but in your daughter. The question, then, is one of priorities: if your daughter is of foremost importance, then you must take whatever steps necessary to preserve the relationship with her--legal action or novel employment included. First Ms. Meniscus would suggest discussing the various options at length with the "mother."

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I've been dating a semi celebrity who is 23 years older then me. The problem is he doesn't seem to care about me. He will call once in a while and go on dates with me, have sex with me, but shows no emotion. We've been going on like this for 7 months. He puts down my age, the way I dress, and how I talk. He goes away with his band often on tour and I never hear from him unless I send an e-mail or call and then I will get a reply. When his band plays shows he rarely

invites me along. I recently gave him a holiday gift and got nothing in return and asked him what he was doing for new year's and he said "ask me later I'm sleeping". What should a girl like me do?? Aside from all of this I really like him.

-Esteemless in Seattle

Dear Esteemless in Seattle,

You have made Ms. Meniscus's task of advice incredibly easy, and she thanks you for that. Just to set the record straight and reiterate the many charms of this fine fellow: He criticizes you on multiple counts. He never initiates contact with you. He does not invite you to see him in his "semi-celebrity" performances. He gave you nothing for the holidays. His sleep is more significant than forging novel and exciting plans for ringing in the new year. And let's not forget to mention that he sleeps with you and shows no emotion--because that is probably his best quality yet. However, "aside from all of this [you] really like him"?!!!!!!!!!! Ms. Meniscus is extremely consternated over what there is to like. Period. Finding a worthy partner is difficult, Ms. Meniscus concedes, but it shouldn't be hard to net someone better than he!

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My manager calls me Hon, Honey, Girlfriend, and Sweetie. I don't like it and have told her to please call me by my name. Is this considered harassment? I'm not her Girlfriend. What do I do? Thanks!

-Judy in Disguise

Dear Judy in Disguise,

If these names make you uncomfortable, then it is harassment in the Meniscus Tome of Etiquette in the Workplace. Terms of endearment are usually best reserved for those who are endeared. If it is possible to speak with a supervisor--someone with more power than your manager in the workplace hierarchy-- about this matter, do so. Otherwise, remain vigilant in reminding her that "Sweetie" is not your given name.

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