Self and Other in the Post Modern Social Lexicon

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I have a little problem that I would like to fix over this new year. I tend to be one of those people that others just walk all over. People will lie to me and I know that they are lying and when they ask if I'm mad I will say no because I dont want to start an argument or lose a friendship or something. Sometimes I just get so mad at what people do or something but I just tell them I'm not mad. People know that they know they can just walk all over me and I won't say a thing but I am getting sick of it! PLEASE HELP!

-Desperate Doormat

Dear Desperate Doormat,

Ms. Meniscus heralds your recognition of your heretofore willingness to be walked on, as well as your determination to pull out the proverbial mat from under the feet of the perpetrators. Fortunately, your predicament is not insurmountable. The answer is not blowing in the wind, nor is it only known by the stars. Next time your "friends" lie to you or mistreat you in any way, call them on the carpet. Express your annoyance at this abuse of friendship--not in a tiny, shy, or hesitant voice, but with vigor and agressive pursuit of your worthy goal. If these "friends" are offended by your refusal to be walked all over, then it is definitely time to cheerfully and dismissively wave, "Au revoir!" and walk on in life.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My girlfriend's mom keeps coming onto me. She makes passes and i am flattered but confused. Please help-- I am a confused 18 yr old.

-Parent Trapped

Dear Parent Trapped,

Plastics, mon ami. Plastics. Ms. Meniscus refers you to the American classic film, "The Graduate," which features a conflict similar to yours. Ms. Meniscus assumes that it is your girlfriend who interests you most, rather than her mother, so it is probably best to defuse the situation quickly and honestly. Try to only be in the company of Mrs. Robinson when her daughter is present. If you end up alone with her, be diplomatic but honest in pointing out that you're involved with her daughter--and not her.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

How do I deal with a roommate that does not like me? I have tried being nice to her and all she does is ignore me. I do not want to be in a room with someone who hates my guts. HELP!!!!!

-Single-Silly

Dear Single-Silly,

Alas and alack, unsavory roomates seem to be requisite components of the life experience. Ms. Meniscus recalls fondly various college cohabitants. One young lady hung a sword above her bed; another ate corn nuts incessantly; another stole shoes; another fed potato chips into her neighbor's printer. Ultimately, however, all participants emerged in one piece from the vicissitudes of dorm living. If you have endeavored to be friendly to your roomie and her only reaction is silence, there are two possibilities, depending on your living situation. If this is a school roommate, speak with a resident advisor or supervisor. That intermediary can then speak to your lovely friend about her unpleasant behavior and perhaps move her to a basement closet with large mice if her attitude does not undergo great change. If this is an apartment, you could consider subletting your space or installing a temporary wall between your side of the room and hers. Costly, maybe, but worthwhile, definitely. Whatever the solution, please do not feel obligated to maintain politesse with this lacking individual. Two can play the rudeness game.

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