The Wedding Issue (with an arthritis addendum)

As a brief foreword, Ms. Meniscus would like to formally announce that she will no longer be accepting any body-piercing related inquiries. For insight on how to deal with these dire questions, please refer to previous Ms. Meniscus articles in the archives.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I have recently been invited to the wedding of my sister's sister-in-law. We are pretty close as we used to share an apartment together. The problem is, my boyfriend of two years (who she has met on various occasions) has been left off of the guest list. This has really hurt my feelings, especially because her and her fiance are very wealthy. This makes me not even want to attend. I was wondering what I should do in this situation.

-Wondering Wanda

Dear Wondering Wanda,

Ah, wedding etiquette. How very 1950s Cold War Ideal Housewife Myth Paranoia Era in subject. How very Ann Landers and Miss Manners. Ms. Meniscus regrets her crass approach--perhaps--but must note that a couple can invite whomever they please to their wedding. They can invite their neighbor's hamster, but not the neighbor. They can invite Rumsfield (Rummy, as Maureen Dowd fondly refers to him), and not their families. And, they can invite you, and not your boyfriend. This may indeed be exclusive, but it is up to the couple what personalities stand in attendance on their "big day." This conveyed, many wedding invitations are for "Hugo and Guest," rather than just Hugo. So perhaps your beloved could share in the joy afterall. If not, it is entirely your decision whether or not to attend.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I am marrying a wonderful girl in just over a year. We both decided that we would like to have a small, relatively informal outdoor wedding and that my parent's country property would be ideal for this purpose. The problem is that my home town is approximately 5 hours drive from her home town (we now both live together in a major city equidistant from both towns)and her mother is 'deeply offended' that we would even think of having the wedding anywhere other than the bride's home town. We have tried to explain our decision and why it makes sense to us for practical, logistical and geographical reasons, but her mother is now refusing to talk to her and this is causing a great deal of undue stress on the both of us and is certainly souring the pre-wedding experience. Is there some wedding ettiquette or rule that says the wedding should be in the bride's home town? Please help!

-Pouty in Paradise

Dear Pouty in Paradise,

Another wedding etiquette query! To sir, with love: your "small, relatively informal outdoor wedding" sounds perfectly lovely. If both you and your partner have happily agreed to hosting the event at this venue, then do not be swayed from your pronouncement. As heretofore expressed, the persons tying the proverbial knot are imbued with all authority. If the soon-to-be-legally-committed desire an underwater wedding, then so it is. If the star-crossed lovers desire a clandestine rendezvous at 2 am with a James Bond theme, then so be it. It is unfortunate that the bride's mother exudes sour grapes, but it is not your responsibility to render them sweet, comprenez-vous?

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I absolutely hate doctors. I do not want to go to and find out if I have arthritis, so I wanted to know, what are the warning signs?

-Avoidance Allie

Dear Avoidance Allie,

Your aversion to and extreme hatred of doctors is quite unfortunate, given that humans and most other forms of life are prone to imperfections of the physical sort--aka disease, injury, etc. This need not be ominous; we all have the common cold and the sore throat from time to time, and doctors can be essential aids in combatting whichever virulent foes come our way. Our friends from the world of medicine can even help to preempt any (real) axis of evil that threatens our systems. Legitimately. That said, the most obvious symptoms of arthritis include joint pain muscle aches. But Ms. Meniscus strongly recommends that you consult a physician instead of self-diagnose a potential predicament.

Have a question for Ms. Meniscus? Submit it below. She looks forward to hearing from you!