Questioning Faithfulness, Confronting Pain, and Acknowledging Love

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I'm going out with this guy who was sort of involved with another girl when we got together. He said that it was nothing serious and that she liked him more than he liked her, but I accidently figured out what his email password was and I read one email from her and it appears that they did sleep together and she's really upset at how he's been treating her lately. He has been trying to get the point across to her that he doesn't want to be with her anymore, because he wants to be with me. I just want to know if I'm overreacting for dwelling on their relationship too much. I know he's with me now and he definitely doesn't want to go back to her, but should I be worried that he'll do the same to me, that he'll tell his other friends that we're not that serious so it'll be easier to break it off if he ever decides to do such? I don't know what to do....I have this feeling that we'll be together forever, but I'm just worried about laying my heart on the line if he's going to bail on me.

-Uncertain in Ulster

Dear Uncertain in Ulster,

There are several aspects of your question that leap off the page like a Missouri jumping frog. First, you note that when you started dating this Adonis, he was "sort of involved with another girl." Honey, you flatter yourself if you think this casual heartbreaker will be uniquely faithful to you when he has already demonstrated a proficiency in the art of cheating. Second, you note that you "accidentally figured out" his email password and snooped, reading his correspondence with the aforementioned original girlfriend. This deviant behavior should be highlighted in red neon and give off sparks, for it indicates a basic distrust in your already dubious relationship. Finally, Ms. Meniscus understands your insecurity given the doubtful nature of this boy and the germination of your relationship with him. Her advice: break it off completely and start anew with someone who has a clean bill of sale.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I am a 30 year old male, who is a chef of a large hotel. I was diagnosed with serio negative spondyloarthopy a few years back. I've had two cortizone shots. The first one gave me 2 and 1/2 years of no pain or suffering. I just had my last shot in December of 2002 and now it is January and I have had two episodes already. I'm at my wit's end; this is killing me mentally as well as physically. What can I do? It's my left hip-- it gets inflamed and refers the pain to my knee so when I put any pressure in it it feels like it is going to snap. As long as I keep moving I'm okay but if i was to sit down for an extended period of time and then stand up the pain is unbearable. Please advise. I am curently seeing a rheumatologist but it seems like I'm wasting my time-- should I be seeing a surgeon of some sort?

-Exasperated in Essex

Dear Exasperated in Essex,

First, Ms. Meniscus heralds your determination and perseverance to continue with what sounds like a very active, ambitious, and admirable job. Second, she sympathizes with your persistent pain. It must be incredibly challenging to focus on foie gras when you are experiencing such discomfort. Unfortunately, Ms. Meniscus does not have a medical solution to your dilemma. The best advice she can offer is to inform your doctor to the best of your ability and in great detail the exact nature of your aches and pains. We can then hope that your rheumatologist (rather than a surgeon, who would be advised by a rheumatologist, in your scenario) will know how to best respond to your medical needs. If you feel that your care could indeed be improved, or different, you could consider seeing a different rheumatologist and asking for an alternative opinion. Good luck, my friend.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My bestfriend is a guy and when he asked me out I accepted but I dumped him because of a situation. I missed him for a long time and when he asked for another try I gave it to him but again we broke up and he hasn't gone out with anyone since. I feel awful and now we are both single. I can tell he is falling for me again and I miss him like crazy but I don't know if three chances is too many. We have tried to be tight friends but we both just get closer and closer until we fall for each other. We are drawn to each other and we have so much in comman. He can play Drops of Jupiter so when I hear the song I cry because it reminds me of how we used to be. Do you think a third chance is in order?

-In Love in Lancaster

Dear In Love in Lancaster,

Your "When Harry Met Sally"-esque predicament most likely rings true for many lonely hearts across the world tonight. Perhaps all of these souls are listening to "Drops of Jupiter," lamenting the love of yesteryear. We only live once, and in the end, you'll regret more the risks you did not take than the risks you did. It is difficult to fully advise without the knowledge of what sort of "situations" resulted in your first two mishaps. However, if your coupling with this fine fellow provokes emotional and physical sparks, then Ms. Meniscus thinks the potential there is worth a third try.

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