Many Shades of Pain

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months and each day it gets only worse. He lies about the stupidest things and I have an out of control temper. I get upset too easily and have anxiety attacks. He gets me so upset that I'll end up hitting him because I feel there is no other way to get through to him. There is literally nothing I can do to get through to him. I can't cry, beg, plead, nothing to get him to understand what I go through and how things in our relationship need to change. I want us to work things out but it seems like he likes that I'm so miserable.

-Explosive in Englewood

Dear Explosive in Englewood,

There seem to be a number of problematic factors in your relationship--namely, that he lies to you, that you physically abuse him, and he emotionally abuses you, since he does not seem cognizant of your unhappiness. It is important that you have stepped back in order to see the condition of your relationship. Your recognize that your interactions with him are far from healthy, and that is the first step to achieving positive results. Ms. Meniscus recommends some time away from him. Though you love him and want things to work out, it might be best to take a break from your intense and mutually abusive relationship so that you're both healthier people. In the meantime, you could explore different forms of therapy to try to cope with your anger and your inclination to become easily upset. He, on the other hand, needs to contemplate how to treat you better, too. Ultimately, if you are a couple that want to remain together and work out these issues, perhaps counselling would be the answer.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My problem is that I was with a guy for a year and before he was with me, he was with another girl for four years. But things were bad and a few important dissagreements split them up. Recently he broke up with me and went back to her and this all happened overnight. That's not my problem-- I am dealing well with this, and now he is cheating on her with me. It only happened twice and I felt bad so I stopped it. Then he came to me after almost two months of being broken up with me and tells me that he and his girlfriend are having problems and that he doesn't expect things to last much longer between them. He's wanted to work things back out with me if they didn't work. I don't know what to do because I do love him a lot and even now I would do everything for him and he treated me like gold, we were an amazing couple, got along perfectly. Should I trust him to keep his word or should I just forget him?

-Doormat in Duquesne

Dear Doormat in Duquesne,

Ms. Meniscus has a simple and straightforward philosophy regarding infidelity: those who are unfaithful to one individual are likely to repeat such behavior. Do not think for one second that this boy has one ounce of high regard for you or his alternative girlfriend, given the scenario you've described. Someone who can flip flop between partners without a second thought or conscience sends a pretty clear message of extreme egotism, disrespect, and incapability of a committed and responsible adult relationship. Ms. Meniscus advises you to tell him to hit the road, jack, and don't come back no more.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I AM HAVING A LOT OF NERVE & MUSCLE PROBLEMS BECAUSE MY BACK IS IN SUCH BAD SHAPE. HOW COME EVERY TIME I MOVE MY BACK CREAKS OR POPS A NUMBER OF TIMES?!!! I DO HAVE OSTEOARTHRITIS...

-Pained in Pittsburgh

Dear Pained in Pittsburgh,

Ms. Meniscus empathizes with your pain and is sorry about your ongoing back problems. Unfortunately, Ms. Meniscus cannot offer a medical diagnosis for exactly why movement of your back elicits creaks and groans. The best solution is to consult a physician; she or he can recommend the best treatment for your pain, whether it's medication, a heating pad, or swimming therapy. Though it may be intimidating to know the answer to why you're creaking, it will no doubt aid you in the long run in terms of the best care for your condition.

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