Spouses, Boyfriends, and Neither (yet?)

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I just came back from a vacation at my son & daughter in-law home. it was in another state & my son treated me to the trip so I was there for 12 days. It was terrible. My daughter in law has a very high paying job (6 figures) & sometimes travels, well the girl is so bossy & yells & screams at everyone (my 2 grandchildren & my son) the 2 grandchildren age 6 & 8 barely speak to me. even though before they moved we saw each other about ever other month. they lived in one part to the state & me in another. I'll give you an example she is a health fanatic. This is not a bad thing but she is so strict with what every one eats that the grandson told me not to eat white bread it would choke my heart. He knows how many fat grams are in Ice cream( which he does not eat) also she is on such a strict schedule that if everyone does not adhere to it you never hear the end of it. Also if my son is out of sight for more then 5 minutes she is running around screaming "what are you doing? Do I have to do every thing? He had to give up his business when they moved & in the South they do not make the money that he was used to. She made the remark that he should quit his job & she will HAVE to be the sole provider. It did not make any difference that I was there. she was rude insulting, condescending at every opportunity in a restaurant or in a store wherever. When they first were getting married at the wedding rehearsal she remarked in front of all her girlfriends that my daughter was dressed like a hooker. My beautiful girl had jean shorts and a shirt I couldn't believe she said it. My daughter put herself through college & graduated with 2 degrees. My daughter-in-law made the remark if by daughter did not come & visit them she was done. I did not tell my kid this because she can't stand her any way. My son is very easy going. does not want to start any more trouble. I noticed the g daughter correcting my son just like the mother & they tattle on each other & are 2 of the whiniest crybabies I have ever seen. should I say anything to my son I feel like I'll never visit them again .this will be very hard as I love my son( first born very much. Do you have any advice? thank you very much.

-Talkative in Tuckahoe

Dear T-in-T,

Check out the Paula Abdul song "Opposites Attract." It's true. Apparently your son enjoys his wife's behavior, or he wouldn't have married her and he wouldn't be with her. Maybe, maybe he can't stand it and secretly wishes she'd change personalities completely. Regardless, if he hasn't said anything of this nature, or expressed it in Morse code, then this is his problem to deal with, not yours. You can try talking to your son about his wife's rudeness, and try talking to his wife about her rudeness. If neither approach is effective, maybe a hiatus from visiting the problematic family, or a moratorium on bonding with the daughter-in-law, is necessary.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I have been with my boyfriend for five years, on and off. Last July, we broke up for a week. He slept with another girl during that time. I thought it was over between them, but lately I've been told by people that he is taking her out in his car. He tells me the opposite. I have heard so many things, I don't know what to do anymore as we have two small children together. Please help.

-Bestill My Heartache

Dear Heartache,

Until I reached the end of your winding inquiry, I saw myself slamming a gavel upon the bench of morality with all the confidence an accomplished advice columnist could muster. Break up with him, case closed! And then I saw myself reaching for another mint julep and getting back to my Reader's Digest.

But just as I was about to retire from 20 minutes of laborious reading and writing, you went ahead and mentioned your two children. This can mean only one thing in addition to plenty of others: that the answer to your question is not nearly as obvious as I had hoped. Unfortunately, that mint julep will have to wait for another time, possibly within the next hour.

Though I am not a qualified social worker, I am an unqualified advice columnist, so I will offer you the shiniest pearl of wisdom I can afford given my paltry salary. No matter the relationship with your boyfriend, do what is right for your children. Are you going to stay with him? Splendid, just don't spend every waking moment fighting and bickering with him. Are you going to leave him? That is fine, too, as long as you keep him in your life -- rather, in your kids' lives. He could make hubby material, but that is a decision I will leave to you.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I finally have a guy that i am interested in but he just so happens to be my brothers best friend and roommate. The fourth of july weekend was a real confusing time every once and awhile he would hit me softly or casually splash me or throw something at me at the lakes. There are those semi-intimate smiles but i don't quite know how to tell if he's just being nice to me because he's my brothers friend or if he really likes me! How do I tell??

-Curious in Cambridge

Dear Curious,

Oh, the days of casual splashes, soft hits, little throws, and semi-intimate smiles. This takes Ms. Meniscus back--way back...she advises you to revel in the moment and to simply enjoy the flirtation. Ms. Meniscus cannot say from this distance whether or not this boy is seriously keen on you or simply keen on making it, shall we say? Have you tried talking to your brother? Then again, you could also see what happens when you next rendezvous; if he proposes Vegas, you'll know your answer!

Have a question for Ms. Meniscus? Submit it below. She looks forward to hearing from you!