Seeing is Believing

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

Hi. I am 18 years of age. My ex boyfriend and I had been together for 1 year and he has recently moved to his home town, about 5 hours away from me. He broke it off with me because he doesn't think it will work if we live this far away from each other. He asked me to move there with him but he has now changed his mind because he thinks it is too much of a serious move for us. I love him so much and I think it will take a lot for me to get over him and if I did have a chance I would go back with him.

-Worried

Dear Worried,

Well, Worried, Ms. Meniscus thinks your boyfriend is right. After all, you're 18, and though you've been together for a year, people change at that age. Ms. Meniscus herself cannot think of anyone who has been in a relationship at the age of 18 or younger that has ultimately worked out (this is meant to be humorous). She advises you to wait a while. A long-distance relationship is a good time to test the future of your love. It's also a good time to make a neat-o mixtape to listen to when you drive to see him. Just make sure "A Dios le Pido" is on it, and you'll be fine, sweetie.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I've been with my boyfriend for just over 6 months, it was all very perfect at first, he was so attentive and caring, we told each other we loved each other 3 weeks into the relationship. Since we started off as very good friends, therefore we had no problem communicating, but since we started dating, he began to keep many things to himself, which caused many misunderstandings and arguments, which damaged our harmony very much. At the same time, I tried to let myself go and told him how I felt most of the time, which made me feel very exposed. 2 weeks ago, he suggested that we should break up because he feels that we are becoming too serious, and he feels that he couldn't provide the amount of care and love I deserve. And he's been having doubts about whether he wants a relationship at all, he thinks that relationship adds more complication in life which he doesn't need, plus we are too young (18) to commit to each other. He then kept on changing his mind, and we got back together for a week (during my birthday), then last week, he broke up with me again with the same problem and he just needs time to think. We still love each other and care about each other very much, but since he doesn't really know how he feels and what he wants, I'm very much confused, because it's a torture to wait in uncertainty and I'm scared that if we do ever get back together, he will hurt me by change his mind again, but I'm also very reluctant of letting him go, because I love him so much and he was my first serious boyfriend and we lost our virginity together which meant a lot to me. It's very hard for me trying to be just friends with him, because we see each other everyday in college and we hang out in the same group, it's just so hard to accept that he's not my boyfriend anymore as he once were. We arranged to go to the cinema as friends next week just the two of us. Is that wise? Cuz I'm hoping that we could start again casually and go back to the way we once were.

-Miss Stay or Leave

Dear Miss Stay or Leave,

It's definitely hard to be around someone you love and desire as a partner rather than just a friend. Unfortunately, it seems your ex-boyfriend has made it pretty clear that he needs time and space, perhaps along with quantum physics, to decide whether he can be in a relationship in general and in a relationship with you specifically. It all becomes a question of independence vs. dependence. Ms. Meniscus suggests that you give things a rest for a while and let him sort out his angst and hormonal indifference. If he knows you're panting for him, he won't have any problem making you sweat. If you go on with your life and even date other people--not as part of a massive twister game, mind you, but as part of growth and rebound--he'll recognize that you're sitting at home for him waiting for the Bridget Jones Diary sequel to come through on pay-per-view. With time things will sort themselves out and you'll be happier with yourself.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My fiance's best friend is hooked on strip clubs. They just opened a new all-nude one and he is thrilled. He irritates me constantly discussing it with my fiance. I do not go for that one bit. I think it is degrading to women and disrespectful to your partner. I am all for fun but the idea of a $25.00 lap dance and some naked lady in my man's face makes my blood boil. Am I totally wrong? We argue and he thinks I am immature. This will be my second marriage if that tells you I am at least old enough to have an opinion. My personal opinion is if you go to a club and do whatever with the women don't come in my bed to finish you off.

-Need Some Help

Dear Need Some Help,

Let's get this straight. Your fiancee thinks YOU'RE immature because you're not interested in going to a strip club where women are paid to exploit their bodies for men? Ms. Meniscus cannot fathom the logic behind that statement. Maybe because there is none. That is utterly and completely absurd. Ms. Meniscus feels that it's time to draw the line in the sand, sister. Sure, there might be a patriarchal, trashy, tacky, and disgusting tradition of men going to strip clubs, especially right before committing to marriage. That tradition does not hold any salt with Ms. Meniscus, and you shouldn't have to compromise your values if this offends you, too, which it rightfully should. Tell your fiancee to make a choice: he can go to strip clubs all day if he wants, or he can marry you.

Have a question for Ms. Meniscus? Submit it below. She looks forward to hearing from you!