Nostalgia for a bygone relationship, Hope for a new relationship, and Annoyance at the publications pertaining to a relationship

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I dumped a really good looking, smart, successful, artistic/talented, fashionable guy a year ago and I find myself still longing for him. The reason why I dumped him was that he was immature, selfish, a control freak, and ungiving/unappreciative. I know these are bad traits and reasons to dump someone and he tried hard to get me back and I was stubborn to give it another go because I felt he had so much growing up to do. I can't help thinking that I could have tried to work it out somehow and I've lost out on someone really wonderful. There's no way we can ever get back together but how can I stop the "what if?" that always swims in my mind? Will that go away when I meet someone new or will I always be wondering?

-Nostalgic Nussbaum

Dear Nostalgic Nussbaum,

Judging from the list of not so fine attributes you've listed for this fellow at the beginning of your query, Ms. Meniscus feels she can safely say that you made the right decision to set out on your own. Even if independence leaves you wistful for your previous couple status, remember the reasons that your relationship was not ideal. You are not alone in pining for what never was or could never be; many individuals do this when feeling lonely. Just be wary of idealizing this person and remember the reasons you had to end the relationship. Perhaps if his character undergoes some change, or perhaps if you change your perspective, you could make another go of it. Otherwise, revel in independence and the certainty that you will meet someone more suitable for you if you just give it time.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I would like some input please! I met this guy a while back through my best friend. I have not had many chances to see him since January because he has been away at college. With my arthritis I am very leery of starting a relationship. I have been feeling really sore lately, so that makes things worse. He is coming home for summer, but I am scared. I don't know if this is normal. We have talked so many times on the phone, and online. He is so nice, but I am just scared to bring him into my "nightmare". I just am stuck on what to do in this situation. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

-Fine Feathered Fred

Dear Fine Feathered Fred,

Ms. Meniscus understands that you are concerned about your arthritis in the face of a possible relationship, but it is completely normal and understandable for you to be wary of being upfront regarding your arthritis with your potential beau. Ms. Meniscus advises you to concentrate on your relationship with this fellow. If you feel comfortable with him and enjoy your time together, please be straightforward about your arthritis. There should be no need to hide your condition from someone you care about, and in ideal circumstances he will not only support you but also be more sensitive to your needs as you potentially spend more time together (i.e. maybe he won't suggest bowling for eight hours straight or hanging out at construction sites and doing heavy lifting and running around). Good Luck!

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

Having an outdoor, conservative wedding. my mom is in a lesbian relationship for over 10 years and my father recently 2-3 years ago, remarried to woman I've known for about 10 years. PROBLEM- dad's wife wants her name with maiden name on the invitation, I want to have just the mom and dad on the invite on separate lines of course or have mom on top and dad as Mr. and Mrs. on second line. Dad says since step mom may part a small part and he is a new unit, they can have both names on the invite. I say no, she's not my parent and has not been a part of my life during my upbringing. What do you think?

-Ordered Around

Dear Ordered Around,

Ms. Meniscus understands that it is often extremely difficult to juggle what different family members want for a given event, especially for an event such as a wedding. Ms. Meniscus is thankful that she will never marry and will remain the same lovable spinster that she is for the remainder of her life. However, if she did consider marriage, she would without a doubt prioritize her own inclinations and desires above those of family members, as should you. If you were raised by your parents, despite their current distinctive and separate living situations, then you should reference your parents on the invitation, or whomever else you'd like to credit with raising you. Others should not pressure you to alter your wedding invitation so that they have a byline; this is your wedding, not your stepmother's! Best of luck, sweetie.

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