Fishing for New Friends, Resentment, and, well, Fish

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I was stupid and made the poor decision to date a roommate/friend. He had little experience with girls and he had more than a fair share of trouble with the law in the past. Unfortunately, the relationship ended horribly, and to end the relationship he ignored me and kicked me out of the apartment. I had two other roommates, a guy and a girl, living there too, and it didn't take very long for them to ditch me and side with him. When they found out that I was still upset about the outcome a few weeks after it happened (i had no place to live at the time), they teased me in a very triumphant "we won" attitude. I've allowed myself time to heal, and I've learned a lot from the experience. But I know them like the back of my hand. They have no problems picking on people they don't like and all three are extremely hard-headed and immature. I know that the moment that they figure out that I'm happy without them around, they will do something stupid. Do you have any tips for how to keep myself from being targeted?

-Unhappy

Dear Unhappy,

Well, unfortunately it was your poor decision to date a roommate/friend, and now you must live with the consequences, be they ridicule, mockery, ostracizing, and humiliation, for the rest of your life.

Obviously Ms. Meniscus is in jest. It is indeed quite unfortunate that your relationship with this fellow ended with him treating you horribly and kicking you out of the apartment. Now, to boot, you have his sidekicks to worry about, too. Ms. Meniscus suggests that you subvert their whole scheme of putting others down and reveling in their immaturity by completely ignoring all of them. It is clear that none of them will prove to be any more than fair-weather friends, so please, move on and find some better joes with whom to spend time. Maintain your distance and thereby combat their trickery.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

What do you think of a 35 year woman getting her tongue pierced after she filed to the courts to get custody back of her 14 year old and 12 year sons from my husband, their father? We think she is acting like some high school teeny bopper trying to get her teenage boys to think she is like the coolest chick or something. We think it is pretty sad way to seek approval of her kids.

-Disapproving

Dear Disapproving,

Ms. Meniscus would first of all like to say that she receives approximately 46,897 questions having something to do with tongue piercing, and finds this very curious. And here is yet another one. Ms. Meniscus has to say that although yes, a 35 year old woman getting her tongue pierced may be somewhat unusual, it is much better than a 35 year old woman pursuing drugs, or alcoholism, or criminal behavior--or a tattoo of David Hasselhoff. So she has a tongue piercing; is this really all that significant? This does not seem inextricably linked to her desire to have custody of her children, a right she has the right for which to file.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My mum won't let me have a fish.

-Fishless

Dear Fishless,

This is by far the most sad and serious missive Ms. Meniscus has received in weeks. How can you mend this wrong? How can you avenge it, or at least change its outcome? Ms. Meniscus advises that you behave incredibly responsibly for the next few months, being helpful and noting said helpful behavior to your mum. Perhaps after this display of responsibility, your mum will reconsider. If she does not, Ms. Meniscus suggests that you begin expressing interest in far more cumbersome animals: dogs, bears, lions, snakes. Then the fish will look particularly appealing.

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