The past that won't last...or will it?

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

Is it common a wife to think "what if" about her past relationships?

-Ek

Dear Ek,

This depends on how often she thinks about it. "What if" means she's got some regrets. You both need to understand why she feels this way. If these thoughs are running her life, they'll be ruining yours very soon so find a therapist to help you two work this out.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I am getting married in August. My fiancee has lied to me in the past and been unfaithful. I am afraid that he will cancel out on me. I have given him reason after reason to get out and he won't. He says he loves me but i am scared to death. I know you are going to say don't get married but he won't let go of me.

-Scared to Death

Dear Scared,

This isn't going to last. Bail on him and save yourself. It doesn't matter if he won't let go of you. Let go of him.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I have a boyfriend who had an female friend show up suddenly after 5 years. We have been together 9 months and seem to be doing well. He assures me that they have never had intercourse before me or during our relationship. That I believe. What bothers me is she has sent him emails saying I love you and text messages telling him she misses him and wishes she could see him. I confronted her about it and she said it was strictly a friendship. It's just that here recently he had a conversation with her about if he should commit to me (engagement wise) and if he was ready. Why would he need to ask her when ever he should be talking to me about these things? He says it's because she knows him. She wouldn't know the man he has become from the boy she knew 5 years ago. And every time they talk it eats me up inside I can't stand it. I tell him this but he brushes it off as jealousy or I am wrong to be this way. I know what I feel and I do not like this girl. I do believe she likes him and that's why she wont respect my wishes and back off. It's starting to get to the point where I am miserable over this friendship, but I am truly in love and don't want to make my boyfriend chose me over her. That wouldn't be fair. But its a thought that is ever on my mind here recently. Please help me to understand my feelings of absolute dislike for this girl. Thank you.

-Levi

Dear Levi,

You've put yourself in a box. You say you love him, but you can't deal with a female friend. You can't live your life assuming he is going to cheat on you. You must make up your mind -- either end the relationship or trust him when he says he is not in love with her. We all need friends of both sexes in order to grow. This sounds like it's more about your insecurity than his fidelity.

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