When Worlds Collide

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My father loves to ruin my life. I'm so over protected, I can't have a decent boyfriend, because he won't allow me to go anywhere. Also my boyfriend wants to purse his basketball career, and I'm afraid he's going to leave me what should I do?

-Fed-up

Dear Fed-up,

You're living in your father's world for a few more years. As long as he's not abusive, back up and give him some respect. I don't want to sound like an old lady, but at 16, it's boyFRIEND, not BOYfriend. The emphasis is on friend. You both have dreams you need to pursue. His is basketball. Don't stand in his way. Remain FRIENDS and you'll have more fun when he gets you court-side tickets in a few years.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

If my boyfriend goes to another school and I never see him, should I break up with him?

-Confused

Dear Confused,

Break up sounds so final. This is not always a yes/no world. Agree to date other people and stay friends.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My boyfriend has been disrespecting me lately by sleeping in late when there are chores to be done and by putting his work over me. Let me explain the latter accusation. I just started to work at that job with him now as well, and it is very common for him to either be embarrassed with me for things I had no control over (example: I held people up one night because the store-provided locker I left my purse in malfunctioned, trapping my purse, and he was embarrassed by that; that same night he was embarrassed because I went on working when everyone else was ready to leave - because no one bothered to tell me that it was time to go.) He also seems to take the company's side in scheduling situations often, basically guilt tripping me to work hours he knows I shouldn't because I have another job and go to school and need time for homework. Has he lost respect for me? He's a great person overall, and generally is very caring, but ever since I started to work at his job with him I feel like my best interests have been put on the back burner. I feel used, in a way. I've had conversations with him about this, but he always gets so sad during them because he says he's sorry and that he didn't realize how he had acted had hurt me, and then I feel badly for bringing anything up at all. But I've had at least three such conversations with him thus far, and while it generally fixes the immediate problem, a related one always occurs again. Does he just have a lack of respect for me, that can't be "talked out"?

-Ren

Dear Ren,

Neither of you knows how to separate your personal life from your work life. They are two different worlds. When you are at work, he is not your boyfriend, and you are not his girlfriend. He doesn't know this. Talk about how you will treat each other cordially but formally when you are at work so life is not so emotional.

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