Old, Bold, and Cold

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I'm 19 and dating a 31 year old man and we've fallen in love. I'm scared though because i wonder if people are really able to have relationships with men so much older. We get along so well and have so many things in common. But he often says he feels like he is stopping from experiencing life. He lives a 2 hour plane ride away and i have not seen him in months. Can one maintain a long-distance relationship with an older man? I am really confused.

-Anjyl

Dear Anjyl,

There is no relationship. He's too old, you're too far away and the love is gone if it was ever there. Keep him as a friend and get on with life. If you don't believe me, tell him if he wants this relationship to survive he has to move closer to you and you want to live together. I guarantee he will run the other way.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

I started having feelings for my English teacher toward the end of the semester. (I'm in college by the way). He and I went for coffee and took smoke breaks together. We've started a relationship and I'm concerned about what his colleagues will say. What do i say back to them? I'm no longer taking his classes, so is this a problem?

-Teachers Pet

Dear Teachers Pet,

You've said it all. You are his pet. You didn't say how old he is, but in order for this relationship to work, the power structure needs to change. Apparently nobody knows about this yet which says volumes about the power structure right there. Unless you go to Tantra University your boyfriend has violated about five policies relating to student professor relationships. Unless you're both willing to go public and suffer whatever disciplinary action the college takes, break it off. His bold move won't look so bold when he is faced with the career-stopping consequences of his actions.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

We're both 48 and have gone out a year and a half and I've gained about 25 pounds. I abandoned my workout routine when we met and I realize I must take care of me, first. I am working toward losing the excess, but what do I do in the interim if it seems he doesn't want to be intimate anymore? I mean he'll come over to visit but won't return for our usual overnights. It's been a week and that's long for us.

-Marsharelle

Dear Marsharelle,

That's cold. Is he Mr. Ripped and Buff? Obviously he's not a booty man, but even more obviously you two don't have the systems in place to communicate about something as simple as a few extra pounds. This is not healthy -- your weight as well as your inability to talk about it. Sit down, not over dinner, and tell him you are going to lose weight. Tell him you think he's ignoring you because of it and although you plan to lose the weight, he needs to lose his attitude. One day he's going to need understanding from you.

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