Climbing Out of a Sunken Situation

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My boyfriend and I have a 6-month old baby together, but nothing is going right. I feel like I have had to mature a huge amount while he's stayed the exact same.

He leaves me at home and feels it's my job to take care of the baby. He's much more interested in spending time with his friends than he is with the baby or me.

I know he's only 22, but what does it take for a guy to get it?

-Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

If there is one constant in this world, it's that females tend to mature more rapidly than males -- especially emotionally. It is not surprising that, at such a young age, your boyfriend views fatherhood with such flippant obliviousness. To him, having a child is a byproduct of an active bedroom life.

The key to jarring him into reality is simple: make him realize what he's missing. Words won't do it alone -- at least, not yours. But imagine how showing him videotape of his young child saying his/her first words might melt his heart. To finally appreciate this tiny blessing he helped bring into the world ... doing so, he might just remember the passion that led to said blessing in the first place.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

Now that I am moving in with a friend from college, I am beginning to dread it. The clinginess is more than I can handle ... calls throughout the day: "What are you doing?" and "Where are you at?"

Living together, I'm afraid, is going to be more than I can handle.

What should I do about it?

-Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed,

Take a moment to breathe. Living with friends of any type can be an illuminating experience -- for all the wrong reasons. You have never seen them at all hours of the day before. They have never shared such intimate space with you. And you have never fought over chores.

The path forward is simple: a line of communication must be opened. You must sit down with your friend and explain your feelings. Give him/her specific "why's" -- a generic "you're taking up too much space" always comes across as hurtful and insensitive. And if you're locked in a lease, the gentler the approach, the better.

Who knows? Your roommate may have a bone or two to pick with you.

Dear Ms. Meniscus,

My girlfriend and I broke up about a month ago, but we have two kids together and still live with each other. We have been dating for nine years. I still love her and want to work it out, but she says that she is confused about everything right now.

What should I do?

-Broken

Dear Broken,

Your feelings are clear (you want to reconcile). Hers are not. First of all, respect that. If you're already on The List of Negative Life Items in her mind, rushing her into a momentous decision about her family's future will not help matters.

An important question: why are you two still under the same roof? For the children? (You're doing them more harm than good.) For the bills? (Not worth the stress.) She needs to focus her thoughts, and perhaps she's confused because of your constant presence.

Ask her what she needs. If it's space, give it. If it's time, give it. If your love is in her hands, and she cannot think, you're in a stalemate.

Have a question for Ms. Meniscus? Submit it below. She looks forward to hearing from you!