Introduction & Early Stages

Latest Entry

Entries:

January 2003

Monday, January 06, 2003

There’s a reason they tell you to stay on your medicine, even if you’re feeling better. This past week has been quite the ride. My medication experiment came to an abrupt end, as I went from feeling "O.K." to feeling like the bottom of a rusted can. It was as though I woke up and felt the sum of 3 weeks without all of the important medicine crumbled into one unbearable pain.

Interestingly, though, I just saw my internist the other day and his words were "take a vacation from your pills every now and then". He might have said "holiday", the exact words I don’t remember any more. But the suggestion was very timely, about 24 hours before the world came crashing down on my weak shoulders. He should have only known.

So now I’m back in full action, and I took advantage of this little "holiday" by starting up a new medicine. Mobic. Why not? Since I’ve attended more breakfasts, lunches and dinners sponsored by Mobic with a Mobic lecture about Mobic, I couldn’t help but give in to the temptation of finding out for myself if this drug (Mobic) is all they crack it up to be. I will say this, to their defense, the pain has gone away (for the most part). What’s left is a sore, beaten and tired body that needs to get back into shape. No drug company can fix what I’ve broken. Only a membership to a gym, a pair of swim goggles and motivation can help at this point.

And yes, I have to pay for the Mobic like everyone else.

Tuesday, January 21, 2003

I returned to college for the last time in my life this weekend. After what feels like an eternity, winter break came to an abrupt end as I shlept (yiddish for dragged) all my stuff slowly but surely back to my 8’x10’ room. This is the last time I need to live in a walk-in closet. This is the last time I need to sleep on a bed not worthy of large animals. This is the last time I am forgiven for ordering pizza past midnight. And I’m happy to say my time has come.

I’ve been on a new kick lately, and to everyone’s astonishment (including my own), I’ve stuck to it: exercising. Day in and day out I have been going to the gym, doing everything except what I should be doing, swimming. But in my head I figure I’m working up to a point where I will want to jump in the pool and exercise. For now it’s about slowly building up endurance, stamina and maybe even muscle. It hurts so much, though. Before, during and after my workout I am in pain. But it’s no different than when I wake up in the morning and can’t walk to the bathroom. I guess I will always be a stubborn teenager, even though I’m now 21. Once a kid always a kid. We don’t always do what is right for ourselves, but if we think we’re doing a good job, who’s going to stop us? We all need to start somewhere and for me, it’s 15 minutes of a cardio exercise. The time had come to stop neglecting my body and start controlling how I felt.

When you’re at the gym you have nothing but plenty of alone time. Which has really gotten me to think about what life was like before I got sick. I used to be able to run endlessly on a single beat. Play double-headers well into the night. Jump the height of my eyes on a whim. And now what? 15 minutes on the elliptical trainer and I feel like I just gave birth.

There isn’t a medicine in the world to help fix that sick feeling in your stomach because of it.