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August 2003

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Of course I won’t be talking about the weather today because that’s what everyone else has been doing lately. No mention of this Biblical rain we’ve been having every 5 hours, followed by somewhat clear and pleasant skies, only to return to nightmarish sideways rain. No, that would not be appropriate because the last thing we need to be is like everyone else.

Instead I’ll talk about how great I feel because of this weather. In my dreams. Old injuries (my knee, my hand) have suddenly come out from hibernation as if to remind me that they once hurt badly, as if my high medical insurance wasn’t a good enough reminder.

If anyone out there is wondering why health insurance is so expensive, it’s because of patients like me. If HMO’s played kickball I’d be the last one picked by the team captains. I could just hear them getting together and saying "Seth? He’s all yours. Have you seen the medicine he takes? No way I’m picking that up – our profits would plummet"…leaving me to stand awkwardly while I pretend not to care. Meanwhile even the fat kid was picked, proving once again it’s not your size that matters, it’s how expensive your non-formulary medicines are.

Monday, August 11, 2003

Someone will have to explain to me why things are so slow in the South. Whether it’s waiting to rent a car and the guy in front of you is asking about things that don’t matter (like the color of the KIA), or being given directions by a local for 30 minutes when you’re only going 10 minutes away, I’m glad to be returning to the hustle of New York.

This morning was the perfect example though. Every morning I budget 5 minutes to get breakfast and another 5 minutes to eat it. All I wanted was some scrambled eggs (usually eggs are all I need to take my medicine) but the line was huge. And for an airport hotel you’d expect things to be a little expedited. I went to the front of the line to see what was going on, to discover a system that did one thing: hold everyone up. There was someone serving from the buffet and asking if the person wanted each item. "Would you like eggs?" "No thanks." "Would you like hash browns?" "Yes please." "Would you like grits?" "No thanks." And so on. Two things immediately ran through my mind: "5 minutes just became 20" and "this place has no concept of the space-time continuum."

But our events were successful yesterday. We held an A-Games in Decatur, Georgia and a physician dinner in Dunwoody. Decatur and Dunwoody…and my friends wonder why I never bring them souvenirs.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Every day I’m asked by someone if arthritis can really predict the weather. "Yes" I tell them, to their astonishment. What’s so surprising about this? Lately the weather in the New York area (and much of the country) has been just stupid. Hazy, hot and humid. Wooden doors aren’t shutting. Cabinets aren’t closing, and drawers give me the most problem because they don’t want to open or close. So when people ask how the weather affects my joints I politely smile and then tell them not to let the door hit them on the way out. Because chances are, nowadays it won’t.

Monday, August 18, 2003

New York has more people without drivers licenses per capita than any other city. And when the lights went out, who do you think hit the streets to direct traffic? Men and women who have no idea how to drive a car. And what’s even more moronic is that drivers actually followed the directions of these vigilante traffic ambassadors. Only in New York. It’s as though people have been waiting around since the 70s for another major blackout to get their chance once again to direct traffic.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

British people are so polite and sound so well educated. Now and then I have to remind myself that they really aren’t. (Just kidding.) I’m back in the UK for the events we’re holding this week at Wellington College. I’m looking forward to seeing the difference in an "A-Games" in the U.S. and a similar event held in the UK. Will any of my old lady jokes be funny? I sure hope so. Hopefully funnier than my last British joke (scroll up).

As I was sitting on the plane eating the food I managed to pack at 4 in the morning before I left – when food was the last thing I wanted to think about – it occurred to me how much of a schedule I’m on with my medicine. I don’t even think about it anymore, it’s just natural to take certain pills at least 30 minutes before the next set. I remember the first week I had to take stomach buffers and GI-pump agents – so long ago they’ve since gone over-the-counter – and how neurotic I was about timing. "Wait at least 30 minutes before taking your medicine, and make sure you eat between one set and the other" I heard repeatedly. So the trick would be to time when I took one set, when I’d eat, and when I’d take the second set. Which was made stunningly apparent when I looked at my watch and 32 minutes had elapsed. If only the flight was that quick.