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January 2004

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

This weekend I did the unthinkable: I went on vacation by myself. I couldn’t find anyone who could get off of work for a couple days to run away and soak up the sun. What did I do instead? I packed two good books and went alone. Despite my parents thinking I was out of my mind I actually had a good time.

Not only was this a vacation from work, New York weather and anyone else I needed to get away from, but it was also a couple much-needed days off of my medicine. I’m talking everything. Day one was okay. Day two was really sore. Day three by dinner was unbearable. And so I lost that bet. Again, I ask myself: what was I thinking?

And so with a few tan lines intact, two good books read, and a sharp reminder of how much my body can hurt, I had a pretty successful trip to the Bahamas. If only for 2 and a half days.

So much for a happy New Year, right?

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

I guess the big question I’ve been thinking about – which really isn’t such a big deal but has been on my mind – is how damaging is a bottle of wine to my liver? I mean I have heard it a million times "the medicine you take cannot be combined with alcohol…for your liver and kidney’s sake"…but to deny an adult a glass of red wine with Italian food? Almost criminal.

It not only puts things in perspective but it makes me wonder what is really going to happen down the line. I mean after 20 or 30 years of taking these new "safer" drugs, will I still be upright? Or will I require a car-size battery to power all the machines necessary to keep me upright? Scary but part of me wonders, more seriously at certain times, if this is the case. That’s a lot to swallow. Literally.

And this is exactly what keeps me awake at night. Staring straight up at the ceiling, wondering what the hell is happening to me, what is my day-to-day comfort going to cost in the long run? Is my body on mortgage – which I’ll be expected to repay (with interest) when the bank comes knocking?