Introduction & Early Stages

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May 2006

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I am not sure when this first happened, but when I sleep through the night now I wake up feeling like I’ve won the lottery. It’s true: I wake up partly shocked, partly relieved, and partly excited that I went through the night, and now I’m ready for the day.

Sometimes, well – I should say often – I am up at least once, usually twice, during the night. Whether it’s to go to the bathroom, check my email, or just to find a better position to sleep in, I’m up and about during the night. And it drives me nuts. It’s not as though I lay awake for hours on end, I tend to fall right back to sleep – but the nights I go straight through I really feel fantastic in the morning.

No coffee needed. Maybe some orange juice and a hot shower to loosen up, but otherwise all days should begin like they did this morning. Better off than yesterday.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

There is something keeping me from the gym. I think it’s an invisible force field. It’s not like I have to go very far out of my way – we’re talking a couple hundred feet from my apartment – and it’s not like it’s a treacherous walk. In fact, most of the walk to the gym is in the shade, so I’m not even exposed to harmful UV rays. So what’s the problem?

It’s bigger than all of that. It’s taking the first step – after so many weeks – that I’m afraid to take. The first time my heart rate goes up is about the same time my brain starts thinking “why am I here? This is miserable!” But the reality is once you get going…it isn’t all that bad.

And I know this. I remember well thinking how great I felt after working out 3 days a week for months. It was a great rhythm. I was trim. Healthy. Fun. The juices were flowing – I had great energy and my joints, perhaps most importantly, never felt better.

So what is it about returning to those days that makes me so afraid? How come the gym feels so far away when it’s really around the corner? I need to break Da Gym Code. (No pun of course.)

At least I’m not paying for it when I’m not using it. Oh wait…I am. On second thought, I’m going to the gym tonight.